Staying Home Alone

As established awhile ago, our girls were growing up! Yay and boo. (o: And with that came more independence. Many of them were talking about wanting to stay home alone; some of them already had. It was time to go over the ground rules for this new adventure.

Tricia and Sara handled this one beautifully. After greeting one another and grabbing some snacks, they followed this outline for the night:

1) House Rules
2) Are You Ready to Stay Home Alone?
3) Real-life Scenarios

House Rules 

Tricia and Sara used a guide from the American Girl Library collection, "Staying Home Alone." It mentioned the following tips for discussing house rules, as every family's different.

• Check in: after you get home, lock the door and check in with an adult. Who should that be and how?
• Phone calls: do you answer the phone? Let it ring? What do you say if someone is looking for your parents?
• Company: can you answer the door if someone knocks? Can you have friends over?
• Technology: are you allowed to use the computer, internet, iPad, TV, phone, etc.?
• Being home: can you play in your yard or neighborhood? Or should you stay indoors?
• Snacks: what are you allowed to eat when you're alone? Are there any appliances that are off-limits (stove, microwave)?
• Schedule: if you are home alone after school, do you have to do homework or chores before you can play?

The discussion that ensued was lively and informative. Some comments included:

"My yard is fenced in and locked, so I know I am safe in there."

"I can have friends over only if the other parents know we will be alone and they're okay with that."

"Sometimes I sneak a treat when no one is home!"

"I can watch TV, right Mom?"

"I don't like to be home alone when it's dark, so we just do that during the day."

Are You Ready to Stay Home Alone?

No one wants anything unpleasant to happen to our kids, especially when we aren't around! But things do tend to come up, and knowing how to stay calm is key to ensuring a positive experience. The girls took a short quiz (from the same book mentioned earlier) to rate how they handled the unexpected. Arming them with the knowledge of how comfortable they feel by themselves helped them gauge their maturity a bit. We discussed calling 911 for a real emergency, or just calling your parents if you're not sure about something. Make a plan for these scenarios: a parent is late. There's a scary noise in the basement. You and your siblings are fighting -- who is in charge? 

A helpful tip to remember: if your daughter didn't feel ready to be home alone, then you wouldn't make her stay home alone! Short trial-runs work beautifully -- a quick run to the library or to get some gas. Start short and work your way up to a few hours. 

And what to do when you're home alone, ladies? Some girls mentioned being bored. But what freedom you have when you're alone! Do the things your family finds really annoying (singing too loudly, banging on drums, popping gum bubbles). Write in your diary. Make a surprise for your family. The time will go faster if you stay busy.

Real-life Scenarios

We divided into teams for the last part of our night. Our mission? To decide what we'd do in certain situations. We needed to discuss 1) how we'd feel, 2) what solutions or strategies we'd have, and 3) who we could talk to about them. Here are a few examples:

• You come home from school alone. While you were at school your friend gave you the website for a really cool online game. Everyone in your class has been playing this. Your friend even gave you her passcode so it's FREE! Your mom and dad have said they want to okay any websites before you use them. But, by the time they get home there will not be any time left to play the game because then you have to leave for basketball. What do you do?

• You are home alone and your phone doesn't have called ID. You answer the phone because you think it's your mom. The person on the line says she works with your dad. She wants to drop off some important papers, but she forgot to get the address from him. If you can give her the address, she can bring the papers now. How do you respond?

• You are home alone and left in charge of your younger sister. Your parents said you could watch a movie, but you two can't agree on one. Your sister gets upset and throws the DVD at your head. It didn't really hurt that bad, but you are frustrated and don't know what do to. What now?

This part of the night could have gone on for hours. Literally. There were a host of ideas and feelings. But really, it all boiled down to staying calm, making the right choices and contacting your parents if things just couldn't be resolved or you couldn't shake the bad feeling in your gut. Trust your gut! It's smart and has your safety as top priority #1!

P.S...If you ever want the full version of things like these real-life scenarios, just throw it in a comment and I can publish them all.